October 27, 2010

The ordeal of Captain Yee US Army

The ordeal of Chaplain Yee
Last fall, he was the Muslim chaplain who had betrayed America.
Accused of espionage, Army Capt. James Yee saw his notoriety bloom overnight. He was vilified on the airwaves and on the Internet as an operative in a supposed spy ring that aimed to pass secrets to al-Qaeda from suspected terrorists held at Guantanamo Bay, Cuba, where Yee ministered to them. After his arrest, Yee was blindfolded, placed in manacles and taken to a Navy brig, where he spent 76 days in solitary confinement.
Eight months later, all the criminal charges against the 36-year-old West Point graduate have melted away. A subsequent reprimand has been removed from his record. And while many legal analysts are questioning whether a security-conscious military over-reached in its investigation, Yee is back home at Fort Lewis, Wash., pondering what remains of his military career.
Military officials involved in the case won't say what they thought they had on Yee, or why they pursued him with such zeal. Prosecutions are proceeding against three other men — two Arabic translators and an Army Reserve colonel — who worked at Guantanamo, where the military is holding nearly 600 suspected al-Qaeda and Taliban operatives captured in Afghanistan and elsewhere.
The decision to jail Yee was made by Maj. Gen. Geoffrey Miller, then commander of Guantanamo's detention camp. He oversaw the espionage investigations of all four men. He has since been transferred to Iraq, where he is now engulfed in the controversy involving prisoner abuse at Abu Ghraib.
When the Army dropped six criminal counts against Yee in March, military officials said they did so to avoid making sensitive information public — not because he was innocent. An Army general stressed that again in April, when he took the unusual step of removing the case from Yee's permanent military record.
But a growing number of critics say the Yee case demands further examination. The critics, who include former military judges and prosecutors well-versed in military law, say the case offers a chilling glimpse into military anxiety at a time of heightened concern about terrorism.
"This is a case that's so obviously wrong that (even) people who don't know military law are, if not outraged, then very concerned about what happened," says Kevin Barry, a retired Coast Guard judge. "There apparently was no evidence. If they had the goods, they would have prosecuted."
Like Barry, many of the critics suggest that the case collapsed not because of national security concerns, but because the evidence against Yee, whatever it was, didn't hold up. They wonder whether the military's threshold for suspicion at Guantanamo was such that benign behavior too easily could have been mistaken as sinister.
No espionage charges
They say that the military compounded its errors by leaking to the media, before the Yee probe was complete, that the chaplain could face multiple death-penalty charges tied to espionage. Those charges never materialized. The six counts against Yee that were dropped later were significantly less serious and included mishandling classified materials, adultery, storing pornography on his Army laptop and lying to investigators.
  THREE OTHERS AWAIT PROCEEDINGS
"They let him languish in solitary confinement for 76 days. That's outrageous," says John Fugh, a retired Army judge advocate general. "When he saw his legal counsel, he was in leg irons. We don't treat commissioned officers that way. I don't care what he did."
Bob Barr, a Republican and former Georgia congressman, sees the Yee case as part of a disturbing trend in the handling of terrorism-related cases. He cites some cases brought by U.S. prosecutors against groups accused of laundering funds for terrorists. The cases got headlines but collapsed, Barr says.
"What we're seeing in Guantanamo, and perhaps in this case, is what happens when you've removed any judicial oversight over what the government is doing," says Barr, who has criticized the administration's policy of detaining some terrorism suspects indefinitely without charging them.
Two Democrats on the Senate Armed Services Committee, Edward Kennedy of Massachusetts and Carl Levin of Michigan, have asked the Pentagon to investigate the Army's treatment of Yee.
Gen. James Hill, chief of the U.S. Southern Command, which oversees military operations at Guantanamo, declined to be interviewed. In cleansing Yee's military record last month, Hill called Yee's incarceration necessary, "given the circumstances at the time."
Col. William Costello, a Southern Command spokesman, added: "There's really nothing more that we're going to share on the case. We've dropped the charges. ... I'm not at liberty to talk about what the investigation entailed."
Yee, meanwhile, is under a new Army order not to talk about his ordeal in any way that might be seen as critical of the military. If he does, he could face further prosecution or discipline. He declined to be interviewed by USA TODAY.
Without an explanation from the military, the attorneys for Yee and the three others arrested in the Guantanamo espionage probe can only theorize about what might have triggered it. Was Yee too outspoken in his requests to superiors that the prisoners receive better treatment? Did authorities suspect a "Syrian connection" between Yee and a Syrian-born translator who worked for him? Did cultural misunderstandings raise suspicions about Muslims at the base?
"We know basically nothing about what got this all started," says Eugene Fidell, a lawyer in Washington, D.C., who worked with Yee's Army defense lawyers.
Yee arrived at Guantanamo on Nov. 5, 2002, and was assigned to minister to Muslim prisoners. He and Muslim workers used a vacant office for their own prayer sessions; sometimes they had a meal. The lawyers think the get-togethers might have raised suspicions.
Yee was arrested Sept. 10 at the start of a one-week leave. Customs agents at the Jacksonville (Fla.) Naval Air Station, tipped by an investigator at Guantanamo that Yee could be carrying classified materials, confiscated drawings and documents containing information about the prisoners and their interrogators. A Customs agent later testified at a preliminary hearing that the items were "of interest to national security."
Yee also had ties to Syria that apparently drew investigators' attention: His wife, Huda, is Syrian. He met her while studying Islam in Damascus in the late 1990s, as he prepared to become one of the Army's first Muslim chaplains. (Born in New Jersey and raised a Lutheran, he converted to Islam in 1991.)
Yee was baffled by his arrest, his attorneys say. But what came next was even more surprising. At a confinement hearing two days later, a Navy prosecutor argued that Yee was a flight risk and that he should be held in the maximum-security Navy brig in Charleston, S.C. Court papers said he would be charged with espionage, spying, aiding the enemy, mutiny or sedition, and disobeying an order. His attorneys were told that he could face execution.
On Sept. 16, Yee was driven to Charleston and was given the sensory-deprivation treatment the military had used on Guantanamo prisoners when they were flown to Cuba. He was blindfolded and placed in shackles, and his ears were covered to block his hearing. He spent the next 76 days in solitary confinement.
On Sept. 20, details of Yee's arrest appeared in a story in The Washington Times, which quoted unidentified government sources. A gush of publicity followed and took root on the Internet, where it flourishes today.
Yee was held in maximum security until Oct. 24. He wore hand and leg irons when he left his cell. Brig guards refused to recognize him as an officer and required him to identify himself as an E-1, the lowest enlisted rank. He wasn't allowed to send or receive mail, watch TV or read anything except the Koran. Only his attorneys could visit. After Oct. 25, he could make two 15-minute calls a day.
The case goes nowhere
Yee's defense team believes the case against him ran off the rails less than 48 hours after his arrest. At Yee's confinement hearing, they noted a disparity between the severity of the charges listed against Yee and the vague arguments the government made to justify his arrest. The prosecutor didn't have to tip his hand then, but the defense team found it unusual that so little evidence was presented.
"When you see a gulf between the shrill charges and this anthill of evidence ... you have to wonder," Fidell says.
Many military law specialists say they became increasingly skeptical about the quality of the government's case — especially after Oct. 10, when the criminal charges filed against Yee turned out not to be espionage and spying, but two lesser counts of mishandling classified materials. Yet Yee remained in solitary confinement.
On Nov. 24, Fidell wrote to President Bush, pleading for Yee's release. The next day, Yee was released — and was hit with four new charges. The new counts — adultery, lying to investigators and two counts of downloading porn — were another sign to many observers that the evidence didn't support the original allegations.
Fugh calls the added charges "Mickey Mouse stuff."
The crux of the case was the charges that Yee had mishandled classified information. But prosecutors did not show the defense any evidence that Yee had such materials. A hearing to determine whether he should be court-martialed was delayed over the issue.
"The government has never produced the evidence that it believes was classified, so I am somewhat at a loss," Fidell says. "We were playing Hamlet without Hamlet here."
When the hearing began Dec. 8 at Fort Benning, Ga., prosecutors led off not with their most serious charges, but with adultery. As Yee's parents, wife and 4-year-old daughter watched, Navy Lt. Karyn Wallace testified under immunity about her affair with Yee.
Under military rules, adultery rarely is prosecuted. It is a crime only if it is "prejudicial to good order and discipline," meaning that it has to be disruptive or be so widely known that it damages the service. Yee's affair apparently had been secret. "It is arguable that there was no crime," Barry says.
On the second day of the hearing, prosecutors asked for a 41-day delay to examine the classified issues. The hearing never resumed. The criminal charges were dropped on March 19.
"This would have been a logical place to back off," says Gary Solis, a former Marine prosecutor and staff judge advocate who teaches military law at Georgetown University in Washington. But the military "kept going. They already had enough egg on their face to make an omelet or two. But no, they wanted to serve a table of 10."
On March 22, Yee was called to a non-criminal hearing where he received a reprimand on the adultery and pornography charges.
Yee appealed the reprimand. Appeals of disciplinary actions rarely are granted, but on April 14, Hill did just that. Hill said later, "While I believe that Chaplain Yee's misconduct was wrong, I do not believe, given the extreme notoriety of his case ... that further stigmatizing Chaplain Yee would serve a just and fair purpose."
Yee returned to his chaplain duties at Fort Lewis two weeks ago. His tour of duty expires next year. Fidell says Yee has made no decisions about his future.

Women must think bigger and higher

Why hold back, Shahrizat?

Mariam Mokhtar
Tuesday, 26 October 2010 08:22
shahrizat-umnoCOMMENT  The lack of ambition shown by the Wanita Umno chief Shahrizat Abdul Jalil, who pledged to lead the  women delegates in the fight for a greater role in the government, is worrying.

At the Wanita Umno general assembly last week, Shahrizat vowed to “spread its leadership wings” and said, “This will be my legacy for Wanita Umno”. She told members of the movement to become ‘menteri besar, chief ministers, state Umno liaison chiefs and other senior posts’.

Is this the best that Shahrizat aspires to? Why stop at menteri besar? Why not try for ‘Prime Minister’ of Malaysia? Why stop short of the most coveted prize in politics? Does Shahrizat doubt the ability of women or is she unsure of her own potential?

Shahrizat said, “I’ve been an Umno member for 30 years and I know that there are many among Wanita Umno members who are talented and have the potential, if only they are given the chance”.

What’s preventing women from grabbing the opportunities available? If Shahrizat believes women to have the ability, then why ‘wait’ for men in politics to ‘give them a chance’? Shahrizat must endeavour to be more assertive.

Moreover, Shahrizat should not encourage women to strive harder and then impose limits on what they can or cannot do. Political life is not a test of physical strength (apart from the grueling time canvassing during elections).

It is an occupation that includes courage, imagination, credibility, honesty, integrity and sincerity. It is about caring for the people they lead and of inspiring others to do good deeds.

Typically, news about women in politics has been dominated by the wasteful shopping extravaganzas and temper tantrums of wives of senior politicians and the lavish all expenses paid trips of the few women politicians. Is it any wonder many Malaysians are sceptical about women in politics?

Then, when the opportunity presents itself to defend the rights of women, our women politicians fail to act decisively.

Sexist MPs have brought shame and ridicule to our parliament on several occasions. Male MPs’ comments in parliament, have ranged from “women wear indecent clothes to invite rape”, “uniforms of Malaysia Airlines female cabin crew could arouse male passengers”, “women, but not their issues, are supposed to be touched by men”, “women divorcees are randy”, to Samy Vellu’s analogy of the parliament building to a 50-year-old woman with faded looks.

In 2007, MPs Bung Mokhtar and Mohd Said Yusuf made derogatory sexist remarks about the female parliamentarian, Fong Po Kuan. After protest from women’s groups and a public condemnation, the cabinet instructed Shahrizat to resolve the problem.

However, all Shahrizat received (and appeared to be content with) was a half-hearted and insincere apology from the two sexist MPs. She should have demanded a retraction of the crude remarks, insisted that Fong be given a public apology, compelled them to issue a public statement regretting their sexist remarks and requested that they be fined and suspended from parliament for 10 days.

How can women be given the respect they are due, if the woman who should have acted decisively, disappointed everyone with her own lack of self-respect? Shahrizat’s lacklustre performance in dealing with this serious problem provided no deterrent.

Need she be reminded that when this incident occurred, Najib who was the deputy PM at the time, said that “the remarks were not supposed to be taken seriously and that no one should make a big deal of the issue.”

And yet, last week, Shahrizat had praised Najib for being a “visionary leader”. Najib lacks vision for he appears to cherry-pick the issues which he feels is worthy of his attention.

If Najib cannot acknowledge that sexist remarks have been made, then is he as receptive to the needs of the people as he claims? If Najib brushes aside these insensitive comments about women, then is he really concerned about women’s issues? Women make up about 50% of our population and a majority of our work-force and bread-winners.

Shahrizat was wrong to allow both Najib and those two male MPs to be let off lightly.

Women in Malaysia’s public and corporate sector have proven themselves, by holding important positions and responsible roles compared to our women in politics. Women perform better at school and many excel at university, with degrees in engineering, the sciences, medicine and architecture.

It is Malaysian men who lag behind.

Thus, women know what they are capable of and are not afraid of working hard towards their goals. They have to, because for many, to earn a living, is both a lifestyle and career choice.

Malaysian women are familiar with struggles and hardship. They know the challenges that they face, chief among which are the policies that discriminate against women. Political will needs to forcefully push through these policies, to recognise the importance and contribution of women in today’s society.

However, Shahrizat’s most important task is to reach out to her own women delegates first and convince them.

Undoubtedly, Malaysian women know what they are capable of. However, it appears that some of Shahrizat’s flock may need convincing and dragged into the 21st Century. Some women still believe that females are inferior to males. They appear stuck in the middle-ages.

Earlier this year, the Perak BN state executive councilor Hamidah Osman claimed that ‘female politicians cannot become menteri besar because in the course of her duties, the female menteri besar would have to meet the Sultan and also religious officers. Therefore, in such situations, it would not be possible for a woman to become the head of a state government’.

Does Hamidah represent an isolated case, or is she atypical of the Wanita Umno mould?

Ah well! That puts paid to Shahrizat’s lofty goals set last week for Wanita Umno to have someone from its ranks to be menteri besar or chief minister.

* The views expressed herein are those of the writer and do not necessarily represent the views of Malaysian Mirror and/or its associates.

Masuk Islam bukan masuk Melayu

Adik ipar Tony Blair masuk Islam

LONDON: Adik ipar mantan perdana menteri Britain, Encik Tony Blair, telah memeluk Islam menyusuli satu lawatan ke Iran, menurut laporan kelmarin. Cik Lauren Booth berkata beliau 'berasa bangga' kerana menjadi seorang wanita Muslim, lapor akhbar The Mail Ahad lalu. Wartawan berusia 43 tahun dan peserta rancangan realiti televisyen itu tidak lagi minum arak atau makan daging babi. Beliau menunaikan solat lima waktu dan tidak menolak kemungkinan memakai burqa pada masa akan datang. 'Sekarang saya tidak makan daging babi. Saya baca Al-Quran setiap hari, sekarang sudah sampai halaman ke-60,' katanya kepada akhbar tersebut. 'Saya tidak lagi minum arak dalam tempoh 45 hari, yang terpanjang dalam 25 tahun,' jelasnya. Cik Booth memeluk agama Islam sekembalinya dari satu lawatan ke Qom, sebuah bandar suci kaum Syiah di Iran, enam minggu yang lalu. Beliau dilaporkan melawat makam Fatima al-Masumeh di sana. Menurutnya, sewaktu berada di Iran, 'saya duduk dan merasakan suntikan rohani yang membuat saya cukup tenang dan gembira'. Semasa bercakap kepada akhbar berkenaan selepas satu acara berbilang agama berjudul Global Peace and Unity Event (Acara Keamanan dan Perpaduan Sejagat) di London Sabtu lalu, Cik Booth berkata: 'Apa yang hendak saya beritahu anda hari ini, saya Lauren Booth adalah seorang wanita Islam.' 'Saya sentiasa merasakan bahawa umat Islam sangat penyayang dan cintakan keamanan. Dan saya berasa bangga menjadi seorang daripada mereka,' tegasnya. Cik Booth adalah adik tiri isteri Encik Blair, Cherie, yang juga seorang peguam hak asasi. Beliau, yang bertugas untuk stesen televisyen Iran berbahasa Inggeris, Press TV, sering mengkritik abang iparnya, Encik Tony Blair, yang sebagai duta keamaan Timur Tengah sering memihak kepada Israel dan Amerika Syarikat. Cik Booth menulis sepucuk surat terbuka dalam akhbar Morning Star bulan lepas. 'Secara peribadi saya tidak faham kenapa mereka takutkan politik Islam,' tulisnya. 'Bagi saya, orang yang kuat agama patut dididik mengenai peristiwa dunia supaya mereka tidak jahil. Misalnya, Zionis Kristian di Midwest, Amerika Syarikat,' tambah Cik Booth. Selepas menghadiri satu rapat di Iran bagi memperingati kematian rakyat Palestin di bandar Rafah dan Nablus, Cik Booth menulis: 'Tahukah anda nama tempat-tempat ini, Tony? Sebagai duta Timur Tengah, anda patut tahu.' 'Israel membunuh ramai kanak-kanak di bandar-bandar ini. Anda tahu tak?' tanyanya. Cik Booth tidak dibenarkan masuk ke Israel dan Mesir selepas pergi ke Gaza dari Cyprus di atas sebuah kapal sarat dengan aktivis yang membantah kepungan terhadap Jaluran Gaza. -- AFP.

Gara gara 99 nafsu wanita

Ingin Bakar Penis Suami, Kena Semuanya
Kamis, 14 Oktober 2010 | 04:03 WIB
SYDNEY, KOMPAS.com - Seorang perempuan Australia divonis bersalah atas kematian sang suami, Rabu (13/10). Semula ia hanya ingin memberi pelajaran pada sang suami, Satish Narayan, dengan cara membakar penisnya, tetapi malah tewas karena apinya terlalu besar.

Perempuan itu, Rajini Narayan (46), mengaku ingin menyucikan penis si suami dengan cara membakarnya. Ia mengaku hanya bermaksud meninggalkan sedikit cacat pada alat kelamin itu agar tidak ada perempuan lain yang mendekati suaminya.

“Dia pahlawanku, cintaku. Satu-satunya lelaki dalam hidupku. Aku hanya ingin menyucikan penisnya, meninggalkan tanda di sana, agar dia tetap bersamaku,” katanya di pengadilan Adelaide.

Niat itu muncul setelah ia mencurigai Satish berselingkuh dengan perempuan lain. Si suami bahkan dicebutkan mencemoohnya dengan kata-kata, “Gendut, jalang, gembrot.”

Alih-alih mengincar sasaran yang terletak di antara paha itu, Rajini akhirnya menyiramkan bensin ke punggung si suami lalu menyulutnya. Tentu saja, laki-laki itu terbakar lebih parah. Dengan luka bakar 75 persen, pria 47 tahun itu hanya dapat bertahan beberapa pekan sebelum akhirnya meninggal.

Ternyata, insiden yang berlangsung Desember 2008 itu tak hanya menghanguskan tubuh Satish, tetapi juga membakar seluruh rumah pasangan itu. (Adi Sasono)
Kompas.com

The Jerrahi Sufi Order

interview

Sheikh Tosun
Bayrak
al-Jerrahi
WIE: What does it mean to be in the world but not of it?

SHEIKH TOSUN BAYRAK: Let me answer that question by telling you a story. Ibn Arabi, who is considered to be the greatest sheikh in Sufism, was traveling to Mecca, and he passed through Tunisia. In Tunisia he was told that there was a holy man living there who he must visit. This holy man was a fisherman who lived in a mud hut on the beach and caught three fish a day, no more, and he gave the bodies of these fish to poor and hungry people. He himself boiled the heads of the fish, and just ate the heads. He did this day after day, year after year. He was living the life of a monastic person, a person who has divorced himself from the world totally, and, of course, Ibn Arabi was very impressed with this discipline. So he talked to the fisherman and the fisherman asked, "Where are you going? Are you going to pass through Cairo?" Ibn Arabi nodded and the fisherman said, "My sheikh lives there. Will you please visit him and ask him for advice for me, because all these years that I have been praying and living humbly like this, I haven't received any advancement in my spiritual life. Please ask him to give me advice."

Ibn Arabi promised him that he would, and so when he arrived in Cairo, he asked the people in the city where this sheikh lived and they said, "Do you see the huge palace on the top of the hill? He lives there." So he went to this beautiful palace on the top of the hill, knocked on the door, and was received very well. They brought him into a large, luxurious waiting room, gave him food to eat, and made him comfortable. But the sheikh had gone to visit the king. And Sufis don't normally visit kings or people in high positions. It's forbidden because they can become an additional curtain between us and God, an additional attachment to the world.

While Ibn Arabi was in this luxurious room waiting for the sheikh, he looked out the window and saw a procession coming. The sheikh was riding a beautiful Arabian horse and was wearing a big turban, diamond rings, a fur coat, and had a whole honor guard of soldiers at his side, and he arrived with great pomp at the palace. But he was a very nice man, and came and greeted Ibn Arabi warmly, and they sat down and started talking. At some point in the conversation, Ibn Arabi said, "You have a student in Tunisia." And the sheikh replied, "Yes, I know." And Ibn Arabi said, "He asked for your spiritual advice." "Tell my student," the sheikh said, "If he's so attached to this world, he's never going to get anywhere."

So this was confusing to Ibn Arabi, but on his trip back, he stopped in Tunisia. He went to the fisherman there, who immediately asked, "Did you see my sheikh?" "Yes, I saw your sheikh," he replied. "What did he say?" asked the fisherman. And Ibn Arabi, looking uncomfortable, said, "Well, your sheikh, you know, he lives in great pomp and great luxury." The fisherman replied, "Yes, I know. What did he say?" So Ibn Arabi told him: "He said as long as you're so attached to this world, you are never going to get anywhere." And the fisherman cried and cried. "He's right," he said, "each day, when I give those three fish bodies to the people, my heart goes with them. Each day, I wish I could have a whole fish instead of just a head, while my sheikh lives in great luxury but doesn't care at all about it. Whether he has it or not, it doesn't touch him."

That's what it means to be in the world but not of the world. It means that, as Sufis, we are supposed to be out in the world participating in the world, but not falling in love with the world. There is a hadith [a saying of the Prophet Muhammad] that tells us: The world is your friend if it reminds you of God, and it is your enemy if it makes you forget God.

WIE: One Sufi mystic is quoted as saying, "To leave the world is not to abstain from property, wife, and children, but to act in obedience to God and to set the things of God above those of the world."

TB: Exactly. Another hadith tells us that when Allah ordered the world, he spoke to the world, saying, "World, the one who becomes your servant, treat him as the worst of slaves. Beat him. Make him work hard and when he dies, crush him. But if he becomes my servant, care for him well and when he dies, hug him like a mother would hug her child."

That means that if you are the servant of Allah, then the world is going to be your servant and obey you and make you rich and everything else. And when you die, it will hug you gently like a mother caressing you. But if you forget Allah and become the servant of the world, then the world is going to whip you, kick you, and make you work like hell. And when you die, it's going to crush you.

WIE: What exactly do you mean by "the world"?

TB: Your wife, your children, your home, your work, your money in the bank, your position in the company, your political aspirations or affiliations, your bed at night, your shower in the morning, your breakfast—everything!

WIE: There's a word in Arabic, dunya, which also means "the world" or "worldly life." It seems that it's often spoken about as something negative or as something that tempts us away from the path.

TB: You're right. Many people think in those terms, but let me make a correction, it's important to understand this distinction. If dunya makes you forget your Lord, if it makes you forget where you came from, what your function is, and where you are going, if it makes you a fool, then it is your enemy. But if it reminds you that this is just a passage, this is just a place for tests, this is just a place to prove that you are doing what you were created for, then it is a good place, a good thing, and a wonderful friend.

WIE: Would it be accurate to say that for most of us, the world tends to be the former, tends to be that which draws us away from God?

TB: It is not the world's fault. It is your fault. It's not the devil's fault. It is your attachment to the world. The world is beautiful. Allah has made it beautiful. Every spot of it is a reflection of him. He has never created anything ugly.

You see, the Sufis believe that creation is simply a mirror. When there is nothing in front of the mirror, it reflects nothing. But Allah is in front of it, so all of creation is a reflection of him. We see his attributes, the attributes of God, reflected in the mirror of creation. And that's what we are. Everything in creation is Allah's attributes. It's not Allah, but it is from Allah. So there is nothing wrong with the world. It is your fault that you make a god of it. It's not the world's fault.

WIE: Many Sufi sheikhs have had wives and families, owned businesses, and some are even said to have been great sultans. What is it that enables a sheikh or a dervish or any spiritual seeker to live amidst all the complexities and temptations of the world and still do the right thing? How can we act in the world in a way that expresses nonattachment to the world?

TB: The answer to that question is very simple. A young German lady asked that question to my sheikh, Sheikh Muzaffer [Ozak] Efendi, and he said, "My daughter, we are very fortunate, because we have got a book in our hands, the Qu'ran, which we believe is from Allah, from the Lord." The Bible is equivalent to a hadith. In other words, it tells us what Jesus did and what Jesus said. But we believe that the Qu'ran was revealed by Allah and brought word by word, letter by letter, dot by dot, to the prophet Muhammad. Through his blessed lips it came out, and not a dot of it has changed for the last one thousand five hundred years.

We actually have three touchstones to find out whether our actions are right or wrong. But you must act! You cannot sit on your behind, because then you're dead. Now if the action corresponds to what Allah tells you to do in the Qu'ran, it's definitely the right action. It is said that in the Qu'ran there are a thousand things to do and a thousand things not to do. I certainly don't know all of them. I know perhaps a hundred things, and even those often depend on interpretation. So this touchstone, this test to see whether your action is real gold or fake, is a difficult one.

The next touchstone is the imitation of the prophet Muhammad. Although he lived one thousand five hundred years ago, the prophet Muhammad was never alone, and everything he did and said was recorded. None of it was inconsequential—the way he drank his water, the way he made love to his wives, the way he went to the bathroom. There are hundreds of thousands of hadiths of things which he said and did, and these are easier to understand, because no interpretation is necessary.

The third touchstone is your conscience. You have to ask your conscience, "This action that I'm about to do, is the result going to be beneficial for the world—for him, for her, for me, for the grass, for the cat, for the turtle? Or is it going to be the opposite, is it going to cause pain and hurt?" If it is beneficial, it's right; if it is not beneficial, it's wrong.

What all of this boils down to is that we are here to ceaselessly do right action. I just returned from a trip to Iraq to help with some of the suffering there. I visited orphanages and hospitals and was able to donate money to help a great many people who are suffering, especially children. And while I almost never talk about my personal experiences, my experience there still lingers with me, because a strange thing happened. During my few days in Iraq, I was not there. Action was there, things were happening, but it was as if I was not there. And I felt that that was my great, great reward which I received. And for me that suffices.

WIE: Maybe that's the best kind of action in the world.

TB: I hope so. Action without being there. We have a saying in Turkish. It is hiç, which means "nothing." And that's the goal.

WIE: Is it ever necessary to retreat or to step back from our involvement with the world in order to deepen our own spiritual contemplation?

TB: There are beautiful stories about the prophet Muhammad where he would be so lost and immersed in these intense spiritual states that he wouldn't even recognize his own wife Aisha. He would say, "Who are you?" and she would say, "Aisha," and he would reply, "Who is Aisha?" You see, he wasn't there. He was so far away that he didn't even know his own wife. But then there were other times when he would rest his blessed head on the thigh of his wife and say, "Aisha, caress my head." So even he needed a little comfort. You have to come back to the world. We are in this body, you see, and it needs things. You have to come back.

[ continue ]
 

Why embrace Islam?

Why ARE so many modern British career women converting to Islam?

By Daily Mail Reporter
Last updated at 12:13 AM on 27th October 2010

 
Tony Blair’s sister-in-law announced her conversion to Islam last weekend. Journalist Lauren Booth embraced the faith after what she describes as a ‘holy experience’ in Iran.
She is just one of a growing number of modern British career women to do so. Here, writer EVE AHMED, who was raised as a Muslim before rejecting the faith, explores the reasons why.
Much of my childhood was spent trying to escape ­Islam.
Born in London to an English mother and a ­Pakistani Muslim father, I was brought up to follow my father’s faith without question.
But, privately, I hated it. The minute I left home for university at the age of 18, I abandoned it altogether.
CAMILLA LEYLAND
CAMILLA LEYLAND
Changing values: Camilla Leyland in Western and Muslim dress
As far as I was concerned, being a Muslim meant hearing the word ‘No’ over and over again.
Girls from my background were barred from so many of the things my English friends took for granted. Indeed, it seemed to me that almost anything fun was haram, or forbidden, to girls like me.
There were so many random, petty rules. No whistling. No chewing of gum. No riding bikes. No watching Top Of The Pops. No wearing make-up or clothes which revealed the shape of the body.
No eating in the street or putting my hands in my pockets. No cutting my hair or painting my nails. No asking questions or answering back. No keeping dogs as pets, (they were unclean).
And, of course, no sitting next to men, shaking their hands or even making eye contact with them.
These ground rules were imposed by my father and I, therefore, assumed they must be an integral part of being a good Muslim.
Small wonder, then, that as soon as I was old enough to exert my independence, I rejected the whole package and turned my back on Islam. After all, what modern, liberated British woman would choose to live such a life?
Well, quite a lot, it turns out, including Islam’s latest surprise convert, Tony Blair’s sister-in-law Lauren Booth. And after my own break with my past, I’ve followed with fascination the growing trend of Western women choosing to convert to Islam.
Convert: Former DJ Lynne Ali
Convert: Former DJ Lynne Ali
Broadcaster and journalist Booth, 43, says she now wears a hijab head covering whenever she leaves home, prays five times a day and visits her local mosque ‘when I can’.
She decided to become a Muslim six weeks ago after visiting the shrine of Fatima al-Masumeh in the city of Qom, and says: ‘It was a Tuesday evening, and I sat down and felt this shot of spiritual morphine, just absolute bliss and joy.’
Before her awakening in Iran, she had been ‘sympathetic’ to Islam and has spent considerable time working in Palestine. ‘I was always impressed with the strength and comfort it gave,’ she says.
How, I wondered, could women be drawn to a religion which I felt had kept me in such a lowly, submissive place? How could their experiences of Islam be so very different to mine?
According to Kevin Brice from ­Swansea University, who has specialised in studying white conversion to Islam, these women are part of an intriguing trend.
He explains: ‘They seek spirituality, a higher meaning, and tend to be deep thinkers. The other type of women who turn to Islam are what I call “converts of convenience”. They’ll assume the trappings of the religion to please their Muslim husband and his family, but won’t necessarily attend mosque, pray or fast.’
I spoke to a diverse selection of white Western converts in a bid to re-examine the faith I had rejected.
Women like Kristiane Backer, 43, a London-based former MTV presenter who had led the kind of liberal Western-style life that I yearned for as a teenager, yet who turned her back on it and embraced Islam instead. Her reason? The ‘anything goes’ permissive society that I coveted had proved to be a superficial void.
Ex-MTV Presenter Kristiane Backer with Mick Jagger in the late Eighties
Ex-MTV Presenter Kristiane Backer with Mick Jagger in the late Eighties
The turning point for Kristiane came when she met and briefly dated the former Pakistani cricketer and Muslim Imran Khan in 1992 during the height of her career. He took her to Pakistan where she says she was immediately touched by spirtuality and the warmth of the people.
Kristiane says: ‘Though our relationship didn’t last, I began to study the Muslim faith and eventually converted. Because of the nature of my job, I’d been out interviewing rock stars, travelling all over the world and following every trend, yet I’d felt empty inside. Now, at last, I had contentment because Islam had given me a purpose in life.’
‘In the West, we are stressed for super­ficial reasons, like what clothes to wear. In Islam, everyone looks to a higher goal. Everything is done to please God. It was a completely different value system.
'Despite my lifestyle, I felt empty inside and realised how liberating it was to be a Muslim. To follow only one god makes life purer. You are not chasing every fad.
‘I grew up in Germany in a not very religious Protestant family. I drank and I partied, but I realised that we need to behave well now so we have a good after-life. We are responsible for our own actions.’
For a significant amount of women, their first contact with Islam comes from ­dating a Muslim boyfriend. Lynne Ali, 31, from Dagenham in Essex, freely admits to having been ‘a typical white hard-partying teenager’.
She says: ‘I would go out and get drunk with friends, wear tight and revealing clothing and date boys.
‘I also worked part-time as a DJ, so I was really into the club scene. I used to pray a bit as a Christian, but I used God as a sort of doctor, to fix things in my life. If anyone asked, I would’ve said that, generally, I was happy living life in the fast lane.’
But when she met her boyfriend, Zahid, at university, something dramatic happened.
backer
Kristiane Backer as she is today
She says: ‘His sister started talking to me about Islam, and it was as if ­everything in my life fitted into place. I think, underneath it all, I must have been searching for something, and I wasn’t feeling fulfilled by my hard-drinking party lifestyle.’
Lynne converted aged 19. ‘From that day, I started wearing the hijab,’ she explains, ‘and I now never show my hair in public. At home, I’ll dress in normal Western clothes in front of my husband, but never out of the house.’
With a recent YouGov survey ­concluding that more than half the ­British public believe Islam to be a negative influence that encourages extremism, the repression of women and inequality, one might ask why any of them would choose such a direction for themselves.
Yet statistics suggest Islamic conversion is not a mere flash in the pan but a significant development. Islam is, after all, the world’s fastest growing religion, and white adopters are an important part of that story.
‘Evidence suggests that the ratio of Western women converts to male could be as high as 2:1,’ says Kevin Brice.
Moreover, he says, often these female ­converts are eager to display the ­visible signs of their faith — in particular the hijab — whereas many Muslim girls brought up in the faith choose not to.
‘Perhaps as a result of these actions, which tend to draw attention, white Muslims often report greater amounts of discrimination against them than do born Muslims,’ adds Brice, which is what happened to Kristiane Backer.
She says: ‘In Germany, there is Islamophobia. I lost my job when I converted. There was a Press campaign against me with insinuations about all Muslims supporting ­terrorists — I was vilified. Now, I am a ­presenter on NBC Europe.
Several of the women I spoke to said strict Islamic dress was something they found empowering and liberating
 
‘I call myself a European Muslim, which is different to the ‘born’ Muslim. I was ­married to one, a Moroccan, but it didn’t work because he placed restrictions on me because of how he’d been brought up. As a European Muslim, I question ­everything — I don’t accept blindly.
‘But what I love is the hospitality and the warmth of the Muslim community. London is the best place in Europe for Muslims, there is wonderful Islamic ­culture here and I am very happy.’
For some converts, Islam represents a celebration of old-fashioned family values.
‘Some are drawn to the sense of belonging and of community — values which have eroded in the West,’ says Haifaa Jawad, a senior lecturer at the University of Birmingham, who has studied the white conversion phenomenon.
‘Many people, from all walks of life, mourn the loss in today’s society of traditional respect for the elderly and for women, for example. These are values which are enshrined in the Koran, which Muslims have to live by,’ adds Brice.
It is values like these which drew Camilla Leyland, 32, a yoga teacher who lives in Cornwall, to Islam. A single mother to daughter, Inaya, two, she converted in her mid-20s for ‘intellectual and feminist reasons’.
She explains: ‘I know people will be surprised to hear the words ­“feminism” and “Islam” in the same breath, but in fact, the teachings of the Koran give equality to women, and at the time the religion was born, the teachings went against the grain of a misogynistic society.
‘The big mistake people make is by confusing culture with religion. Yes, there are Muslim cultures which do not allow women individual freedom, yet when I was growing up, I felt more oppressed by Western society.’
She talks of the pressure on women to act like men by drinking and ­having casual sex. ‘There was no real meaning to it all. In Islam, if you begin a relationship, that is a ­commitment of intent.’
Growing up in Southampton — her father was the director of Southampton Institute of Education and her mother a home economics teacher — Camilla’s interest in Islam began at school.
She went to university and later took a Masters degree in Middle East Studies. But it was while living and working in Syria that she had a spiritual epiphany. Reflecting on what she’d read in the Koran, she realised she wanted to convert.
Her decision was met with bemusement by friends and family.
‘People found it so hard to believe that an educated, middle-class white woman would choose to become Muslim,’ she says.
While Camilla’s faith remains strong, she no longer wears the hijab in public. But several of the women I spoke to said strict Islamic dress was something they found empowering and liberating.
'I am so grateful I found my escape route. I am no longer a slave to a broken society and its expectations'


 
Lynne Ali remembers the night this hit home for her. ‘I went to an old friend’s 21st birthday party in a bar,’ she reveals. ‘I walked in, wearing my hijab and modest clothing, and saw how ­everyone else had so much flesh on display. They were drunk, slurring their words and dancing provocatively.
‘For the first time, I could see my former life with an outsider’s eyes, and I knew I could never go back to that.
‘I am so grateful I found my escape route. This is the real me — I am happy to pray five times a day and take classes at the mosque. I am no longer a slave to a broken society and its expectations.’
Kristiane Backer, who has written a book on her own spiritual journey, called From MTV To Mecca, believes the new breed of modern, independent Muslims can band together to show the world that Islam is not the faith I grew up in — one that stamps on the rights of women.
She says: ‘I know women born Muslims who became disillusioned an d rebelled against it. When you dig deeper, it’s not the faith they turned against, but the culture.
'Rules like marrying within the same sect or caste and education being less important for girls, as they should get married anyway —– where does it say that in the Koran? It doesn’t.
‘Many young Muslims have abandoned the “fire and brimstone” version they were born into have re-discovered a more spiritual and intellectual approach, that’s free from the cultural dogmas of the older generation. That’s how I intend to spend my life, showing the world the beauty of the true Islam.’
While I don’t agree with their sentiments, I admire and respect the women I interviewed for this piece.
They were all bright and educated, and have thought long and hard before choosing to convert to Islam — and now feel passionately about their adopted religion. Good luck to them. And good luck to Lauren Booth. But it’s that word that sums up the difference between their experience and mine — choice.
Perhaps if I’d felt in control rather than controlled, if I’d felt empowered rather than stifled, I would still be practising the religion I was born into, and would not carry the burden of guilt that I do about rejecting my father’s faith.
 

Read more: http://www.dailymail.co.uk/femail/article-1324039/Like-Lauren-Booth-ARE-modern-British-career-women-converting-Islam.html?ito=feeds-newsxml#ixzz13XE9vVQe

October 22, 2010

Menyusu kera dihutan anak sendiri mati kelaparan

KEPALA BATAS


‘Dagang lalu ditanakkan,
kera di hutan disusui,
anak mati kelaparan
dalam buaian’.

Pada zaman silam, Kepala Batas khasnya dan Seberang Perai dan Pulau Pinang amnya termasuk dalam negeri Kedah. Dalam sejarah Negeri Kedah dan Semenanjung Tanah Melayu tidak ada catatan atau termaktub nama awal kawasan bertuah, Kepala Batas. Hanya dari cerita mulut orang-orang tua, bahawa nama asal kawasan ini ialah Permatang Bertam .
Pada zaman silam, kawasan ini di bahagian sempadan dengan Padang Serai hingga bersempadan dengan Sungai Muda adalah hutan rimba yang penuh dengan pokok-pokok bertam.
Sejak zaman berzaman di Seberang Perai tidak banyak tempat dinamakan ‘kampung’ atau ‘desa’. Paling banyak dinamakan ‘permatang’. Walaupun permatang tidak ada keterangan dalam kamus Melayu, tetapi dari cerita mulut orang tua-tua; bahawa permatang adalah tempat tinggal penduduk-penduduk yang terdiri dari kaum tani dan terletak di tepi atau di tengah sawah padi.
DEWAN RAKYAT
Pada sebelah petang pemandangannya indah lagi permai. Permatang adalah ketungan dari dua kata asal, iaitu ‘permai petang’. Suku kata awal permatang, iaitu ‘perma’ dan suka kata akhir petang, iaitu ‘tang’ dicantumkan - perma + tang - , maka jadilah ‘permatang’.
Di kawasan sekitar daerah atau kawasan Dewan Rakyat Kepala Batas, terdapat banyak tempat bergelar permatang atau matang. Di antara tempat-tempat itu: Permatang Sungai Dua, Permatang Sintuk dan Permatang Janggus.
Nama Kepala Batas (pangkal jalan raya) didaftarkan oleh Kerajaan Negeri Seberang Perai, setelah jalan raya batu berturap minyak tar dibina menyambungkan Bukit Mertajam dengan sempadan negeri Kedah, iaitu Bumbung Lima. Jalan raya itu berkepalakan pada jalan (batas) melintang – jalan (batas) ke Butterworth dan Estate Bertam yang terletak dalam bandar kecil yang dinamakan Kepala Batas.
DALAM QURAN
Pada zaman silam, negeri Kedah meliputi negeri Perlis, Seberang Perai dan pulau-pulaunya termasuk Pulau Langkawi dan Pulau Pinang. Pada zaman itu, negeri Kedah dipimpin oleh dua orang ketua atau pemimpin orang Melayu, iaitu Tun Derma Dewa dan Tun Perkasa. Mereka itu dikatakan gagah dan berani serta bijak. Mereka tidak tahu menulis dan membaca tulisan Rumi tetapi mahir dengan tulisan Jawi yang berdasarkan tulisan Arab dalam Quran.
Ramai orang Siam, Burma, Cina dan India telah berhijrah ke negeri Kedah. Mereka menjadi pendatang tanpa izin. Kerana baik budi orang Melayu – dagang lalu ditanakkan atau kera di hutan disusui, anak mati kelaparan dalam buaian, maka pendatang-pendatang itu telah diterima menjadi jiran tetangga orang Melayu di sana.
Pada zaman silam juga negeri Kedah di sebut ‘Qilha’. Dalam bahasa Sanskrit ‘Kataha’. Orang India menyebut ‘Kadaram’ atau ‘Kidaram’, orang Cina menyebut ‘Kie-te’a’ atau ‘Cieh-c’a’ dan orang Arab menyebut Qedah atau Qadhun (mangkuk kayu).
NENEK MOYANG
Negeri Kedah ada empat daerah, iaitu Kuala Qilha (Kuala Sungai Merbuk), Kuala Bahang atau Mahang (Kuala Kedah sekarang), Kuala Merpah (Pulau Panjang dekat Perlis), Kuala Bara (kawasan dekat Negeri Perlis sekarang). Ada sebuah daerah atau negeri yang dinamakan Seberang (seberang Sungai Muda) terletak dalam negeri Qilha, iaitu Seberang Perai yang meliputi Kepala Batas.
Kira-kira pada tahun 630 (M), seorang Raja dari negeri Gumarun, Parsi (Iran), iaitu Maharaja Derbar Raja I, adalah nenek moyang kepada raja-raja negeri Kedah. Raja tersebut telah dikalahkan dalam satu peperangan oleh Raja Parsi. Dia telah melarikan diri dari Parsi ke Sri Lanka.
Maha Derbar Raja tidak lama tinggal di Sri Lanka. Dia dan rombongannya telah merantau dan akhirnya sampai ke Kuala Sungai Qilah, iaitu di negeri Kedah sekarang. Setelah tiba di sana, Maharaja Derbar Raja I masuk ke negeri Kedah dan bertemu dengan dua orang ketua orang Melayu, iaitu Tun Perkasa dan Tun Derma Dewa.
MENJADI RAJA
Menurut sejarah, kerana Maharaja Derbar Raja I seorang yang baik budi dan pekertinya, maka oleh Tun Derma Dewa dan Tun Perkasa telah melantiknya menjadi raja pemerintah yang awal di negeri Kedah.
Setelah berkuasa sebagai seorang raja di negeri Kedah. Pada tahun 634, Baginda telah memerintahkan pihak kerajaannya supaya membina sebuah ibu negeri bagi kerajaannya di hulu negeri Kedah, iaitu dalam kawasan Sik sekarang.
Orang Melayu Kedah amnya dan Kepala Batas khasnya, seperti orang Melayu di seluruh Semenanjung Tanah Melayu juga, iaitu baik hati dan berbudi bahasa. Mereka menerima kedatangan pendatang-pendatang asing seperti orang Parsi (Iran), Cina, India, Siam dan Arab dengan hati yang ikhlas dan terbuka.
BATU LONCATAN
Mereka menghormati tetamu atau pendatang asing. Dalam hati mereka tidak menaruh perasaan curiga kepada pendatang-pendatang itu. Mereka memandang semua manusia yang datang ke negeri mereka itu baik belaka. Mereka telah melayan pendatang atau tetamu mereka lebih dari melayan anak-anak mereka sendiri. Dengan demikian, lahirlah peribahasa:
Dagang lalu ditanakkan.
Kera di hutan disusui.
Anak mati kelaparan dalam buaian.

Tetapi malang bagi orang Melayu, kebanyakan pendatang yang mereka raikan dan mencurah budi itu tidak membalas budi mereka. Sebaliknya, budi mereka dibalas dengan tuba. Kebanyakan pendatang itu menggunakan mereka sebagai batu loncatan untuk naik ke atas atau mendapat peluang mengaut keuntungan atau kemewahan.
Sebagai contoh, sekitar tahun 1930-an orang Melayu, terutamanya di Pulau Pinang dan Seberang Prai termasuk Kepala Batas terperangkap dalam golongan pendatang yang mereka rai dan hormati, sehingga tanah milik mereka terjual atau tergadai.
KERAJAAN INGGERIS
Pada mulanya pendatang yang mereka memberi pertolongan itu menjadi kawan rapat mereka, tetapi akhirnya pendatang itu membolot harta mereka dan memusuhi mereka. Kemudian, negeri Kedah dan jajahan takluknya termasuk Kepala Batas seperti negeri-negeri di seluruh Tanah Melayu telah menyusuri denai dan jalan duka selama berabad-abad lamanya, dijajah oleh Kerajaan Siam, Kerajaan Inggeris, Kerajaan Jepun dan Kerajaan Inggeris kali yang kedua hingga tahun-tahun sebelum 31 Ogos 1957.
Selama 71 tahun di bawah penjajahan Inggeris, orang Melayu telah dipaksa secara halus, dididik dengan pelajaran dan budaya yang mengikut acuan penjajah. Mereka menjadi manusia yang tidak terdaya dan hidup dengan duka lara atas muka bumi mereka sendiri.
Akibatnya, di mana-mana tanah milik orang Melayu terlepas ke tangan orang lain. Semangat orang Melayu menjadi seperti pelanduk terjerat dalam hujan. Sekali merenung diri terasa sebagai tuan, tetapi bila dinilai diri hujung rambut hingga ke hujung kaki, nyata diri tidak lebih dari seorang hamba cuma.
Sesungguhnya manusia di bawah kekuasaan Allah. Allah tidak membiarkan hamba-hamba-Nya terus menjadi hamba dan dihina oleh manusia lain. Allah telah mengurniakan kepada penduduk-penduduk Kepala Batas khasnya dan seluruh tanah air, amnya dengan kesedaran, iaitu kesedaran melalui kefahaman dari Quran dan Hadis oleh para ulama pada masa silam.
Di Kepala Batas dipancarkan oleh Allah dengan petunjuk dari ajaran Quran dan Hadis oleh seorang ulama yang hingga pada masa ini namanya masih dikenang. – mokhtar petah.

Konsep nushuz dalam hukum Islam

Nushuz Suami Isteri : Konsep dan Penyelesaiannya Dari Perspektif Hukum


Written by zain-ys   
Tuesday, 18 May 2010 07:16
Oleh Ustaz Abdul Kadir bin Hj. Muhammad

1.0 Pendahuluan
Firman Allah bermaksud, Al-Rum, 20-21
" Dan antara tanda-tanda yang membuktikan kekuasaanNya, bahawa ia menciptakan kamu dari tanah, kamudian kamu menjadi manusia hidup bertaburan di muka bumi. Dan antara tanda-tanda yang membuktikan kekuasaanNya, bahawa ia menciptakan untuk kamu ( laki-laki) isteri-isteri dari kamu sendiri supaya kamu menjadi tenteram ( aman damai ) hidup bersamanya. Dan ia menjadikan antara kamu suami isteri berkasih-kasihan dan belas kasihan. Sesungguhnya demikian itu sebagai tanda ( kebesaran Allah) bagi mereka yang ingin berfikir. "

Firman Allah S.W.T yang bermaksud, Al-Baqarah, 187
" Mereka adalah Pakaian bagimu, dan kamupun adalah Pakaian bagi mereka. "

Itulah hakikat manusia asal kejadiannya adalah dari tanah. Kemudian Allah menjadikan mereka hidup perpasang-pasangan berdasarkan konsep berkasih-kasihan antara satu sama lain. Namun begitu manusia tidak sunyi daipada melakukan kesilapan yang menyentuh hak orang lain. Apabila timbul krisis dalam rumahtangga yang melibatkan suami isteri ia diistilahkan sebagai Nushuz .

Nushuz adalah punca berlakunya krisis atau ketidakstabilan rumah tangga yang kalau tidak dibendung kemungkinan besar membawa kepada perceraian yang termasuk dalam perkara halal yang amat dimurkai Allah. Sebagai jalan keluar bagi menyelesaikan Nushuz secara berpanjangan dan mengelak berlakunya perceraian, maka Islam telah menentukan cara-cara penyelesaiannya..

Perbuatan Nushuz kadangkala berpunca dari isteri dan kadangkala berpunca dari suami dan kadangkala disebabkan oleh kedua-dua belah pihak. Tetapi apa yang berlaku dalam tanggapan masyarakat apabila disebut Nushuz tergambar dalam pemikiran mereka Nushuz hanya berlaku dipihak isteri sahaja, tidak berlaku di pihak suami. Walau apa pun bentuk Nushuz yang berlaku di pihak isteri tidak sama dengan Nushuz yang berlaku dipihak suami.

Dengan itu kaedah penyelesaian pun tidak sama. Berlainan bentuk Nushuz dan berlainan kaedah penyelesaian antara lelaki atau perempuan suatu hakikat yang tidak boleh di nafi kerana ketidaksamaan kejadian lelaki dan perempuan baik dari bentuk fizikal dan emosi. Ini suatu Sunnah Allah bagi menstabilkan kehidupan manusia di dunia.

Bagaimana pun kertas ini akan menghadkan perbincangan kepada bentuk-bentuk Nushuz yang berlaku sama di pihak isteri dan juga di pihak suami serta kaedah penyelesaiannya dari aspek hukum, tidak dari aspek punca atau sebab berlakunya Nushuz. Namun begitu secara umumnya terjadinya Nushuz atau krisis rumahtangga kerana ketidakpatuhan atau tunduk kepada hukum yang ditentukan.

2.0 Pengertian Nushuz

2.1 Pengertian Nushuz Secara Umum.

Nushuz pada pengetian Bahasa, Mengangkat dan Pertelagahan. Pada sudut istilah ialah penolakan taat pasangan suami isteri terhadap satu sama dalam menunaikan hak. Dari pengertian ini jelas Nushuz berlaku di kedua-dua belah pihak.

2.2 Pengertian Nushuz Isteri

Ibn Arabi mengistilahkan Nushuz isteri sebagai al-Imtina` ( menahan ). Isteri menahan dirinya dari melaksana hak suami. Al-Baydawi menjelaskan isteri menarik diri dari mentaati suami Badran Abu al-Aynayn Badran memberi pengertian yang lebih jelas, Nushuz isteri bermaksud sebagai perbuatan isteri tidak mentaati suami, dan termasuklah keluar dari rumah tanpa izin dan tanpa apa-apa alasan yang diharus oleh Syara`.

Dari pengertian di atas dapat difahami apabila dikatakan Nushuz isteri ia bermaksud perlanggaran tanggungjawab oleh isteri terhadap hak-hak suami yang ditetapkan oleh Syara`. Ini memberi erti sebaliknya isteri tidak dikatakan melakukan perbuatan Nushuz sekalipun tidak melaksana hak suami sekiranya mempunyai alasan Syara'.

Kewajipan isteri mentaati suami ialah berasaskan kepada konsep kepimpinan lelaki dalam rumahtangga dan tanggungjawab. Firman Allah, An-Nisa', 34

Laki-laki adalah pemimpin ke atas kaum perempuan dengan apa yang Allah lebihkan setengah kamu ke atas yang lain dan dengan apa yang mereka nafkahkan dari harta mererka itu (laki-laki), perempuan yang salih ialah yang taat kepada Allah …(Lampiran 3)

Ayat ini menjelaskan kewajipan isteri mentaati suami ialah kerana sifat kepimpinan lelaki dan kewajipannya menyediakan segala peruntukan untuk isteri. Oleh kerana hak taat merupakan hak suami, maka suami diberi kuasa menta’dibkan isteri sekiranya berlaku Nushuz.

2.3 Bentuk-bentuk Nushuz Isteri

Isteri dikatakan melakukan perbuatan Nushuz apabila ia melaku perkara berikut :

(i) Keluar Rumah Tanpa Izin .
Isteri disifatkan sebagai melaku perbuatan Nushuz sekiranya ia keluar rumah tanpa mendapat keizinan suami terlebih dahulu kerana asal bagi seseorang perempuan ialah sentiasa berada di rumah suami . Firman Allah, (al-Ahzab : 33)

Hendaklah kamu tetap di rumah-rumah kamu dan jangan sekali-kali kamu keluar sebagaimana orang-orang jahiliah yang dahulu-dahulu. (Lampiran 4)

Ayat ini menjelaskan perempuan di minta supaya sentiasa berada di rumah dan tidak boleh keluar tanpa alasan Syara`.

Dengan itu bererti keluar rumah tanpa izin tidak termasuk dalam perbuatan Nushuz, sekiranya kerana alasan Syara`. Antaranya, seperti rumah yang diduduki tidak sesuai atau tidak terdapat alat keperluan asasi atau kerana gangguan jiran atau sebagainya.

Mengenai keluar rumah kerana menziarahi dua ibu bapa walau pun tanpa izin tidak termasuk dalam perbuatan Nushuz mengikut setengah pandangan, malah mereka berpendapat isteri mempunyai hak menziarahi dua ibu bapa lebih kerap sekiranya dua ibu bapanya sakit dan tidak ada orang lain yang menjaganya. Ini tanpa mengira samada di izin atau tidak oleh suami kerana manusia dituntut oleh Islam membuat kebaikan sedaya yang mampu kepada dua ibu bapa ,samada sebelum atau selepas kahwin dan samada ibu bapa Islam atau tidak.

Hanafi hanya membolehkan isteri menziarahi dua ibu bapa tanpa izin sekirnya mereka sakit sahaja. Dengan lain perkataan menziarahi dua ibu bapa tanpa izin tidak termasuk dalam perbuatan Nushuz sekiranya mereka sakit.

Ada pandangan lain menyatakan makruh suami tidak mengizin isteri menziarahi dua ibu bapanya. Alasannya membuat kebaikan kepada dua ibu bapa dan menghubung tali silaturrahim adalah kewajipan yang dituntut oleh agama. Menghalang mereka menziarahi dua ibu bapa menyebabkan berlaku kerenggangan hubungan dan mendorong mereka melaku perbuatan derhaka. Sedangkan melaku kebaikan dan menghubung silaturrahim adalah satu tuntutan Syara`. Firman Allah, (al-Isra’ : 24), maksudnya

Allah telah memfardukan kepada kamu supaya kamu jangan mengabdikan diri melainkan terhadapNya dan kepada dua ibu bapa hendaklah kamu melaku ihsan. (Lampiran 5)

Hadis Qudsi:

Ertinya, Aku adalah Allah, Aku amat pemurah, Aku jadikan rahim (perhubungan), aku pecahkan namaku baginya (rahim) dari nama Aku, sesiapa yang menyambung tali perhubungan aku akan menyambung tali perhubungannya, dan sesiapa yang memutus tali perhubungan Aku akan memutuskannya.

Dari pendapat di atas ada beberapa pandangan mengenai keluar rumah meziarahi ibu bapa tanpa izin. Pandangan pertama, isteri tidak melaku perbuatan Nushuz sekalipun tidak diizin sama ada sakit atau pun tidak . Pandangan kedua, ziarah ibu bapa semasa sakit tanpa izin sahaja tidak termasuk dalam perbuatan Nushuz dan ketiga menziarahi ibu bapa tanpa izin termasuk dalam perbuatan Nushuz, sama ada sakit atau pun tidak Bagaimana pun makruh suami melarang isteri menziarahi ibu bapa kerana membuat kebaikan kepada mereka adalah tuntutan Syara`

(i) Kedudukan Isteri Keluar Rumah Untuk Bekerja

Isteri keluar untuk bekerja apakah ia tergolong dalam perbuatan Nushuz atau pun tidak. Dalam masalah ini tidak timbul perselisihan pendapat antara ulamak sekiranya mendapat izin suami. Perbuatan itu tidak termasuk dalam perbuatan Nushuz.

Tetapi yang timbul perselisihan sekiranya berlaku penarikan balik izin oleh suami terhadap izin yang diberi. Apakah ia dianggap sebagai melaku perbuatan Nushuz atau pun tidak. Dalam masalah ini ada dua pandangan berbeza.

Pendapat pertama, sebahagian besar ulamak samada ulamak yang terdahulu atau semasa berpendapat setelah berlaku penarikan balik izin dan sekiranya isteri masih lagi keluar untuk bekerja sedangkan segala kemudahan telah disedia suami maka perbuatan itu adalah sebagai perbuatan Nushuz.

Ibn Abidin menyatakan :

Sekiranya ditegah bertenun dan ingkar, keluar tanpa izin suami, maka ia dikira sebagai Nushuz selama mana ia keluar dan sekiranya ia tidak menegah dari keluar maka ia tidak dikira sebagai Nushuz..

Muhammad Abu Zuhrah memberi pendapat yang sama :

Perempuan bekerja apabila diminta berada di rumah, tidak berhak mendapat nafkah apabila ia tidak mematuhi permintaan tersebut. Perbuatan demikian (izin bekerja) dikira sebagai penyerahan tidak sempurna. Suami berhak meminta isteri menyerah diri secara penuh. Enggan mematuhi permintaan suami ia dianggap sebagai melaku perbuatan Nushuz.

Pendapat yang sama dinyatakan oleh Abd al-Rahman Taj, dalam kitabnya al-Shariat al-Islamiyah fi al-Ahwal al-Sakhsiyah dan Umar Abdullah dalam kiatabnya Ahkam al-Shari'at al-Islamiyah fi al-Ahwal al-Sakhsiyah, h.340.

Pendapat Kedua, Menyatakan suami tidak lagi mempunyai hak untuk menarik balik izin sekiranya suami telah memberi keizinan. Ini berdasarkan kepada keputusan oleh Mahkamah Rendah Kaherah, tahun 1956, keputusan Mahkamah Rendah Iskandariah, 1964 Mesir.

Hak untuk tidak boleh menarik balik izin juga sebagaimana dinyatakan oleh Muawwab Abd al-Tawwab. Bagaimana pun ia terikat dengan syarat-syarat di bawah,
Pertama, Apabila disyarat semasa akad pengekalan isteri untuk bekerja atau memberi hak untuk bekerja.
Kedua, Apabila suami mengetahui yang isterinya bekerja sebelum berlaku akad.
Ketiga, Apabila isteri bekerja selepas akad tetapi sebelum dukhul dan suami redha dengan kerja tersebut sama ada keredhaan itu secara terang atau secara tersirat.
Keempat, Apabila isteri bekerja selepas dukhul dan suami redha dengan kerja tersebut, sama ada secara jelas atau tersirat.

Keluar dalam keadaan di atas setelah dipersetujui oleh suami, maka tidak ada hak lagi baginya untuk menghalang dan sekiranya isteri keluar maka ia tidak dianggap sebagai melakukan Nushuz dan tidak menggugur nafkahnya.
Kelima, Apabila isteri terpaksa keluar rumah untuk bekerja kerana kepentingan atau keperluan bagi menambah pendapatan kerana keluar dalam keadaan ini dikira sebagai daruri dan tidak mengugurkan nafkah.

Berhubung dengan pendapat di atas pembentang lebih bersetuju dengan pendapat pertama. kerana hak berada dirumah adalah hak ihtibas al-kamil bagi suami. Ketika ia izin isteri keluar bererti ia redha dengan ikhtibas al-naqis. Tetapi apabila ia menarik balik izin bererti ia tidak lagi redha dengan ikhtibas al-naqis. Dengan itu hak izin suami tidak gugur walaupun keizinan itu telah diberi.

Bagaimana pun Akta Keganasan Rumah Tangga, Akta 524, Sek 2 memperuntukan suami tidak ada hak melarang isteri keluar rumah tanpa kerelaannya. Berasaskan kepada peruntukan ini suami boleh dituduh sebagai melaku perbuatan jenayah sekiranya isteri tidak bersetuju dengan larangan tersebut. Peruntukan ini nampaknya bercanggah dengan hak yang diberi Syara` untuk menegah isteri keluar rumah.. Akta ini dikuatkuasakan sama ada kepada orang Islam dan bukan Islam

Cara Penentuan Izin Bekerja.

Sudah dijelaskan sebahagian besar ulamak dan pendapat yang rajih isteri bekerja di luar rumah dengan izin suami berhak mendapat nafkah. Izin itu boleh dita'birkan dengan beberapa cara. Antaranya, dengan menggunakan lafaz yang sarih (jelas), seperti suami berkata kepada isteri aku izin kamu bekerja atau cara kelakuan, seperti keluar bersama-sama ke tempat kerja ataupun dengan diam yang tidak ada reaksi melarang isteri kerja. Walaupun pada asalnya diam bukan menggambarkan sebagai izin, namun begitu dalam keadaan tertentu diam boleh digambarkan sebagai izin. Ini seperti sebelum berkahwin laki-laki mengetahui yang bakal isterinya bekerja atau sedang memohon pekerjaan dan selepas berkahwin tidak melarang isterinya bekerja atau menghalang hasrat isterinya, maka diam itu boleh dikira sebagai izin.

(ii) Keengganan isteri berpindah rumah bersama suami.

Keenganan isteri berpindah rumah mengikuti suami dikira sebagai perbuatan Nushuz sekiranya rumah yang disediakan itu sesuai. Firma Allah, At-Talaq, 6
tempatkan mereka itu (isteri) dimana kamu bertempat tinggal dan jangan sekali-kali, memudaratkan mereka itu. (Lampiran 6)

Rumah atau tempat tinggal yang sesuai mestilah dapat memenuhi ciri-ciri berikut:
i. Rumah yang disedia sesuai untuk mereka tinggal bersama dan mempunyai keperluan asasi yang sesuai, berdasarkan kepada keadaan dan kemampuan kewangan suami.
ii. Rumah adalah dikhas untuk mereka berdua sahaja kecualilah anak-anak suami dari isteri yang terdahulu yang belum mumayyiz. Tinggal bersama orang lain kadang-kadang menyusah dan menyempitkan mereka.
iii. Rumah yang disediakan dapat menjamin keselamatan terhadap jiwa dan harta isteri.
Berdasarkan syarat-syarat di atas keengganan isteri berpindah mengikuti suami kerana rumah tidak memenuhi syarat maka keengganan itu tidak tergolong dalam perbuatan Nushuz. Begitu juga keengganan berpindah kerana suami tidak menyegerakan pembayaran mahar yang dipersetujui atau berdasarkan adat.

(iii) Keengganan Musafir Bersama Suami.

Keengganan musafir mengikuti suami juga termasuk dalam perbuatan Nushuz dan sekiranya musafir yang dicadangkan itu memenuhi syarat-syarat berikut:
i. Suami dapat memberi jaminan keselamatan kepada diri dan hartanya semasa musafir
ii. Musafir bukan bertujuan menipu atau menyusahkan isteri
iii. Musafir kerana kepentingan, seperti untuk urusan perniagaan, menuntut ilmu atau pun kerana tugas dan sebagainya.

(iv) Menghalang Suami Masuk Ke Rumah Milik Isteri Selepas Di Izin.

Ini sekiranya isteri telah mengizinkan suami tinggal bersama di rumahnya dan suami tidak diberi tempoh yang sesuai mencari rumah lain dan berpindah terlebih dahulu, maka menghalang atau melarang suami masuk ke rumahnya dikira sebagai melaku perbuatan Nushuz . Tetapi apabila diberi peluang keengganan isteri membenar suaminya masuk ke rumah beliau tidak dianggap sebagai Nushuz kerana rumah itu adalah hak miliknya. Pada asasnya bukan menjadi tanggung jawab isteri menyediakan rumah untuk mereka tinggal bersama. Suami mesti menyediakan tempat tinggal. Keizinan isteri untuk suami tinggal bersamanya samada rumah miliknya atau disewa hanya berasas kepada kerjasama, tolak ansur bukan satu kewajipan sekalipun ketika ikatan perkahwinan masih kekal.

(v) Menghalang Suami Beristimta` .

Istimta’ itu adalah hak suami dan sekiranya isteri menghalang beristimta` tanpa apa-apa hak, maka halangan itu adalah termasuk dalam perbuatan Nushuz sekiranya tanpa apa-apa hak atau apa-apa keuzuran. Abu Hurairah meriwayatkan dari Rasulullah S.A.W bermaksud :

Ertinya, Apabila seorang laki-laki mengajak isterinya ke tempat tidur, tetapi ia enggan, malaikat akan melaknatnya sehingga waktu subuh.

Lagi sabdanya , apabila perempuan berpindah dari tempat tidur suaminya, maka dilaknat oleh malaikat sehingga waktu subuh .

Halangan Kerana Uzur atau Alasan Syarak

Halangan istimta` itu kerana hak atau uzur, maka tidak boleh disifatkan sebagai Nushuz. Halangan kerana hak, antaranya menghalang beristimta` kerana menuntut disegerakan mas kahwin berdasarkan persetujuan atau uruf. Halangan itu tidak tidak boleh dikategorikan sebagai Nushuz kerana mas kahwin itu adalah haknya yang ditentu oleh Syara’.

Halangan kerana uzur tidak juga termasuk dalam perbuatan Nushuz, seperti isteri sakit, berada dalam haid, nifas, atau lain-lain keuzuran Syara'. Alasannya melaku jima` dalam keadaan tersebut boleh menimbulkan kemudaratan kepada isteri. Sabda Rasulullah, jangan melakukan mudarat dan dimudaratkan. Selain dari itu hubungan dalam keadaan haid dan nifas jelas bertentangan dengan Syara`. Firman Allah maksudnya, An-Nisa', 222 :

hendaklah kamu menjauhi perempuan semasa mereka berada dalam haid. (Lampiran 7)

(vi) Meninggalkan fardu-fardu atau tuntutan agama yang diwajibkan oleh Allah S.W.T. Bukan sahaja melaku Nushuz terhadap suami malah termasuk dalam perbuatan maksiat.

2.4 Kaedah Menyelesai Nushuz Isteri

Sebagaimana disebut dalam pendahuluan tadi sistem perkahwinan dalam Islam ialah untuk mewujudkan keharmonian, kasih mengasihani antara pasangan suami isteri dan mengelak perceraian. Sebab itu langkah menta'dib diambil terlebih dahulu sebagaimana berikut :

(i) Memberi Nasihat.


Suami hendaklah mengguna perkataan yang lemah lembut dan bersopan, seperti takutlah kepada Allah dengan melaksana hak saya yang wajib di atas engkau atau lain-lain perkataan yang baik. Moga-moga dengan itu isteri berlembut hati dan kembali taat. Firman Allah, maksudnya, An-Nisa', 34:

" Apabila diketahui Nushuz isteri (kerana melakukan perkara-perkara di atas) nasihtakan mereka. "
Langkah ini di ambil sebelum langkah pemulauan tempat tidur atau pukul secara ta`dib di ambil.

(ii) Berpindah Dari Tempat Tidur
Langkah kedua ini diambil setelah langkah pertama tidak memberi kesan. Firman Allah, maksudnya "Berpindahlah dari tempat tidur mereka". Nabi pernah memulau tempat tidur para isterinya selama sebulan. Bagaimanapun semasa pemulauan tersebut dilarang dari tidak bercakap dengan isteri lebih dari tiga hari. Sabda Rasulullah S.A.W. Maksudnya, tidak halal bagi seseorang Islam tidak bercakap dengan saudaranya lebih dari tiga hari.

(iii) Pukul
Sekiranya Nushuz masih berkekalan suami dibolehkan memukul isteri sebagai pukulan pengajaran untuk menjernihkan kembali rumah tangga yang terganggu, bukan pukulan meluka, mencedera, atau mencacatkan isteri. Pukulan adalah sebagai pilihan terakhir dalam keadaan terdesak. Diriwayatkan dari Aishah (R.A) maksudnya,

Rasulullah tidak pernah memukul isterinya, khadamnya dan tidak memukul dengan tangannya melainkan kerana berjuang pada jalan Allah, atau mereka yang menceroboh perkara yang diharam oleh Allah, maka ia menuntut bela kerana Allah.

Oleh kerana pukulan sebagai pukulan pengajaran, maka suami tidak diboleh memukul isteri dibahagian-bahagian yang sensitif seperti muka, perut, tempat-tempat yang kemungkinan membawa kepada maut.

(iv) Perlantikan Hakim

Sebagai penyelesaian terakhir ialah melalui perlantikan hakim. Firman Allah, Surah Al-Nisa`, ayat 35, maksudnya,

" Sekiranya kamu bimbang berlaku perpecahan antara kamu berdua lantiklah hakim ( orang tengah ) seorang dari keluarga lelaki dan seorang dari keluarga perempuan , sekiranya kedua-dua itu mahu mencari perdamaian nescaya Allah akan mempertemukan mereka secara baik. "

Mengikut al-Shafii dan Hanbali hakim tidak ada kuasa mencerai atau pun tebus talak tanpa mendapat mandat dari suami. Tetapi Maliki berpendapat sebaliknya, hakim mempunyai kuasa penuh sama ada hendak mencerai atau tidak tanpa mendapat izin suami atau pun kebenaran hakim .Hanafi pula berpendapat hakim perlu melaporkan perkara tersebut dan hakim mempunyai kuasa sama ada hendak menceraikan atau pun tidak .

3.0 Nushuz Suami dan Bentuknya


Kalau terjadinya Nushuz di pihak isteri, maka demikian juga Nushuz terjadi di pihak suami. Firman Allah maksudnya, An-Nisa', 128

" Sekirannya isteri bimbang dengan Nushuz suaminya atau berlaku keingkaran maka tidak ada apa-apa halangan kamu melakukan tebus talak. "

Secara umumnya Nushuz suami bermaksud suami tidak melaksana hak-hak isteri yang ditentukan Syara`. Dengan ini jelas Nushuz juga berlaku di kalangan suami, sebagaimana ia berlaku di pihak isteri. Cuma bentuk Nushuz dan tindakan yang boleh diambil sahaja berlainan.

Suami diwajibkan menanggung nafkah isteri dan melaksana giliran yang adil. Nafkah dan giliran yang adil adalah hak isteri yang ditentukan berdasarkan nas-nas Syara'. Kegagalan melaksana hak-hak tersebut bererti suami melaku perbuatan Nushuz. Begitu juga Syara` membolehkan suami memukul isteri bertujuan menta`dibkannya. Tetapi sekiranya pukulan berlebihan mendatangkan kemudaratan maka perbuatan itu dikira sebagai Nushuz kerana melanggar hak yang diberi oleh Syara`.

Dengan itu terjadinya Nushuz suami kerana dua perkara, pertama kerana tidak melaksanakan hak dan kedua penyalahgunaan hak.

Tidak melaksanakan hak dijelaskan dalam Majmu` Shar al-Muhazzab seperti berikut :

Apabila ternyata berlaku Nushuz dari suami, seperti ia menghalang sesuatu yang di wajib kepada isteri, seperti nafkah, pakaian, giliran yang adil dan sebagainya hendaklah hakim menempatkan isteri berhampiran mereka yang boleh dipercayai dan adil.

Menyalah guna hak dinyatakan oleh Dr. Harun Din seperti berikut :

Apabila suami berkekalan Nushuz-nya dan tidak mahu berdamai, seperti berpindah tempat tidur atau memukul atau mencaci yang memudaratkan maka isteri berhak melapor perkara tersebut kepada Kadi. Berpindah atau meninggalkan isteri akan menimbul kesukaran yang amat besar kepadanya

Perkara ini telah dinyatakan oleh para ulamak silam, antaranya Mazhab Hanafi :

Apabila suami berkekalan (Nushuz) terhadap isterinya seperti memukul atau menyakiti samada dengan perkataan atau perbuatan, diangkat urusannya kepada Kadi supaya diberi amaran dan untuk menegahnya (suami) dari melaku kemerbahayaan terhadap isteri.

Demikian juga dengan pandangan mazhab Maliki :

Dengan melaku perbuatan terhadap isteri seperti memukul dengan pukulan yang tidak berdasarkan Syara` atau mencela dan seumpamanya … hendaklah hakim menghalang dengan nasihat …

Dari kenyataan di atas di atas ternyata Nushuz berlaku juga di pihak suami sebagaimana berlaku Nushuz di pihak isteri, cuma bentuk Nushuz sahaja berlaianan dengan Nushuz yang dilaku isteri.

3.1 Penyelesaian Nushuz

Setiap permasalahan terdapat penyelesaian. Tindakan-tindakan berikut boleh diambil bagi meyelesai masalah Nushuz yang dilaku oleh suami:

(i) berdamai secara baik.
Langkah aman atau langkah penyelesaian secara baik mesti diutamakan sebelum langkah lain di ambil. Fiman Allah, An-Nisa', 128

Sekiranya isteri bimbang dengan Nushuz suaminya atau berlaku keingkaran maka tidak ada apa-apa halangan mereka berdamai antara mereka berdua dan berdamai itu adalah jalan yang terbaik. (Lampiran 11)

(ii) membuat aduan kepada Kadi

Untuk kali pertama Kadi hendaklah menasihati suami supaya tidak menyakiti atau memukul isteri. Sekiranya suami masih menerus perbuatan itu bolehlah Kadi menta`zir untuk menghalang ia bertindak demikain.

(iii) Berpisah
Sebagai langkah terakhir bolehlah mereka berpisah samada dengan talak atau tebus talak atau pun dengan Fasakh. Untuk langkah ketiga ini perlu ada syarat-syarat tertentu.

4.0 Penutup

Dari perbincangan di atas, Islam menentukan bentuk-bentuk Nushuz, samada dari pihak isteri ataupun suami. Bagi menjamin keharmonian rumahtangga, Islam menentukan kaedah penyelesaian jika berlakunya Nushuz.

Di harap agar seminar ini dapat menghasilkan sesuatu yang berharga dalam usaha pembinaan ikatan keluarga yang mantap dan harmoni.

Sumber: http://www.kias.edu.my/nushus.htm

Menularkan rasa aman dikantor

Jumat, 22/10/2010 
KOMPAS.com - Banyak teman merindukan masa kecilnya. Hal yang dirindukan bukan pada fasilitas, tapi lebih pada ketentraman yang begitu kental mereka rasakan dulu. Banyak dari mereka bisa dengan detail menceriterakan masa-masa mereka merasa bebas untuk berteman, aman untuk melakukan perjalanan, juga menikmati fasilitas publik walaupun wujudnya sangat sederhana.
Bandingkan dengan kondisi kita sekarang. Kita, orang tua di perkotaan, membatasi anak-anak kita untuk berhubungan dengan orang asing, takut dihipnotis. Kita pun tidak berani dengan nyaman pergi ke mall, takut ancaman bom. Meski hobi berolahraga, kita tidak berani bersepeda di jalan raya, takut diserempet.
Apakah kemajuan dunia juga mengembangkan situasi yang kurang tentram? Ataukah struktur sosial politik masyarakat yang tidak ditata dan belum dibenahi secara optimal? Di tempat kerja pun kita sering mendengar orang merindukan rasa aman, bukan? Dalam suasana kerja yang begitu sibuk, dengan proyek bertumpuk, seringkali masih ditambah juga berbagai ketakutan. Ketakutan pada atasan, tidak percayanya satu sama lain, baik antar divisi ataupun teman kerja. Bahkan, hubungan atasan bawahan juga diwarnai rasa curiga dan was-was.
Rasa aman dan tentram yang kita bahas ini tentu saja tidak sama dengan comfort zone yang sering didengung-dengungkan orang. Melihat situasi ini, kita tentu bertanya-tanya, benarkah rasa aman sudah menjadi hal yang langka?

Menghindari "mind game"
Kita tentu kenal dengan teori piramida kebutuhan yang dipopulerkan oleh Abraham Maslow, psikolog abad ke-20. Beliau jelas-jelas mengatakan bahwa bila kebutuhan akan rasa aman, keteraturan, dan stabilitas individu belum terpenuhi, maka individu akan sulit memperhatikan hubungan interpersonal dengan orang lain, apalagi berprestasi dan memiliki passion pada apa yang ia kerjakan. Bagaimana organisasi atau tim bisa mendapatkan karyawan yang bekerja penuh passion dan ambisi bila rasa tidak aman masih berkecamuk di benak para karyawan?
Di Amerika, ada penelitian yang mengatakan bahwa UFO lebih terlihat pada saat-saat masyarakat sedang mengalami stres yang lebih berat. Sikap parno alias curiga berlebihan tumbuh lebih subur pada saat saat individu merasa galau, tidak jelas, dan tidak mempunyai pegangan. Hasil penelitian juga mengatakan bahwa individu yang mempunyai jaminan kesehatan menampilkan masa penyembuhan yang lebih cepat daripada individu yang tidak memiliki jaminan kesehatan.
Di perusahaan di mana individu tidak mempunyai pegangan dan rasa aman, gosip mengenai perubahan jabatan, pergantian pemimpin, kesalahan orang, ataupun kebijakan-kebijakan yang dirasakan merugikan karyawan menjadi lebih santer, bahkan dilebih-lebihkan. Kita lihat bahwa “mind game” memang akan subur menggerogoti kesehatan individu dan tim, bila individu mempersepsi rasa tidak aman.
Dalam masyarakat kita, kita juga melihat bahwa mind game bisa begitu berbahaya dan tumbuh menjadi kebencian antargeng, antaragama, dan antarsuku yang tidak jelas ujung pangkalnya. Bukankah kita sama-sama bisa jelas melihat bahwa kebencian ini tidak berdasar?

Menghadirkan “clarity”
Rasa aman, terutama secara fisik, memang perlu diupayakan pertama kali. Kita tentu bisa meniru perusahaan-perusahaan yang serius untuk menyediakan program pinjaman, perumahan, asuransi, dan berbagai program yang membuat karyawan bisa merasa “aman”, sehingga dapat lebih berkonsentrasi pada kinerjanya. Bagaimana dengan rasa aman secara emosional dan psikologis? Kita lihat bahwa perusahaan yang mengupayakan clarity atau kejelasan bagi karyawan, secara sukses bisa menekan munculnya gosip.

Di jaman informasi seperti ini, kita sering beranggapan informasi yang ada sudah cukup dan memang bisa dicari sendiri oleh karyawan atau rakyat. Padahal kenyataannya, bisa saja informasi kemudian berkembang ke dalam stereotip-stereotip yang negatif, sikap defensif, bahkan agresif.
Kita tentu masih ingat, headline Kompas beberapa waktu lalu: “Pemerintah Seakan Tidak Hadir”, untuk menyelesaikan berbagai masalah yang mendera negeri ini. Membaca berita di atas, secara psikologis, terasa kita seketika kehilangan pegangan, menggapai-gapai mencari rasa aman dan kejelasan. Ini tentu saja sebuah panggilan bagi pihak otoritas untuk membuat keadaan menjadi lebih jelas, memberikan fakta-fakta yang membuat masyarakat bisa menumbuhkan “sense in control”. Bukankah kita akan merasa lebih aman saat berada dalam gedung yang memiliki petunjuk yang jelas mengenai cara mengamankan diri bila ada bencana?

Masyarakat perlu kepercayaan diri bahwa ada hal-hal yang masih bisa dikontrol. Jelas-jelas tatanan dan manajemen keamanan perlu dikomunikasikan secara clear. Tidak berarti bahwa kabar baik yang melulu efektif membawa rasa aman. Apapun faktanya, positif atau negatif, kabar baik ataupun buruk, semuanya akan tetap bermanfaat memberi kekuatan.
Kita juga perlu berkeyakinan bahwa tiap individu memiliki kapasitas untuk mengolah dan menumbuhkan kekuatan bagi dirinya sendiri. Rasa aman tidak harus disuapkan terus-menerus. Bahkan Hellen Keller, penulis dan guru yang tuna rungu sekaligus tuna netra, mengatakan, bahkan rasa aman itu tidak tersedia. Yang ada hanyalah kekuatan mengarungi adventure yang kita hadapi. Berarti kekuatan untuk memperoleh rasa aman ini datang dari hal-hal yang tidak langsung.
Selama pimpinan bisa mengomunikasikan harapan yang jelas, menjelaskan apa yang harus dilakukan, memaparkan dampak yang muncul dari tindakan yang akan diambil, berkomunikasi dan melakukan evaluasi dari waktu ke waktu, tentu tiap individu akan bisa menumbuhkan kekuatan dirinya, menghadapi krisis, bahkan bisa menularkan semangat rasa aman ini bagi orang lain di lingkungannya.
(Eileen Rachman/Sylvina Savitri, EXPERD Consultant)